Planning your day is so important. Getting things out of your head and onto paper (or digital paper if you’re anything like me) clears all that clutter in our brains and allows us more space to be present, to learn and to grow.
If we’re not careful, though, that planning can put us in hustle mode, where the to-do list is king and there’s no space for presence. Staying busy is a great way to avoid feeling our feelings and working through them. I know this, because this is me.
When things get hard, or tough emotions are churning inside me, I double down on the actionables and get busy. If I stay focused on tasks, I don’t have to be uncomfortable and feel hard things that seem like they will last forever.
I work myself into a frenzy, exhaust all my reserves, and then lash out at those around me from the pain of those unprocessed emotions. It’s not a pretty cycle, but my mind has an old, well-worn pattern that this is better than actually feeling the hard stuff.
In reality, I’m just stuffing those emotions down deeper, where eventually they will come spewing out in the most unloving ways to those around me. Festering emotions store up all kinds of problems – they work to be seen and recognized, and when not acknowledged, can wreak havoc on our physical and mental wellbeing. They have a message for you, and won’t stop until you slow down to hear it.
While your emotions aren’t always truth-tellers, they do have a message for you. You can’t control how you feel – but you can gently acknowledge and allow them, thank them for trying to help you, and listen to the most loving message they have for you. After you feel those emotions and allow them to pass through, you can determine how you want to feel moving froward, and create thoughts that support this new feeling.
You can’t think your way out of feeling emotions – that’s the hard, slow work we have to be present for. As a growing, thriving human, we have access to the full range of emotions – the joy-filled, the grief-stricken, the anger-fueled. No emotion is bad, it just is. When we allow it to be felt and carry its message to us, they can move on.
Don’t dam up your emotions until there’s a breach. Allow them to flow freely. With practice, this becomes easier. You become more in tune with yourself and how you feel, and it feels less catastrophic to process them through. They aren’t here to hurt you, but to guide you along your path.