5 Powerful Mindset Shifts for More Peace in Motherhood

It’s no secret that motherhood is both incredibly beautiful and overwhelmingly hard in the same breath. You know it well – not only do you wear a multitide of hats (and wear them well, mama!), you’re running on coffee and adrenaline because sleeping through the night is something you only vaguely remember from the past. It seems like everyone needs you all the time, and you’re constantly running from one demand to the next, leaving you feeling stressed and exhausted.

While we can’t change many things about motherhood, we can change our focus and what we think about. Our thoughts create our feelings, which influence our actions. If you’re after more peace as a mama, here are five mindset shifts you can begin to practice today to move from overwhelmed to in control.

Mindset Shift 1: What You Focus On Matters

I am for my children, not against them.

Your mind finds what it’s looking for. Each moment, we put it on a mission with our thoughts and focus. As we have thoughts, it starts to look for all the things that make those thoughts true.

In a world that sees busyness as a badge of honor, our to-do list can easily take top priority in our lives. We feel rushed and pressured to complete all the things. And our children operate in what feels like direct opposition to this list.

Your kids want your presence. They need things from you. They make messes and have energy to burn. All of these start to feel like attacks on us personally. “Don’t they know I have to get these things done?”

When we misalign our priorities in this way, our children become the enemies to what we are attempting to do.

I’ve been intentionally practicing the thought, “I am for my children, not against them.”

It reminds me where my allegiance truly lies and helps me to zoom out and focus on the bigger picture.

Mindset Shift 2: Believing Your Purpose

I am just the mom my kids need.

Comparison is an easy but dangerous trap to fall down. All the information on Google and the highlight reel we constantly see on social media make us feel like we don’t have what it takes in this moment, in whatever parenting struggle you’re facing.

The truth is: your kids are yours for a reason.

No one has the specific gifts and skills you do or the temperament you do. No one else moms like you do. And while that might feel like a burden more than a gift, your uniqueness was created to pair with your children’s uniqueness.

It doesn’t always feel like it, but no matter what, you’re equipped for the family you have. This doesn’t mean you have all the answers or do things perfectly, but that you have what it takes to show up in each moment.

You are JUST the mom your kids need.

Mindset Shift 3: Understanding Your Intrinsic Value

I don’t have to do anything to have value.

It’s easy to feel like we have to earn our worth. Motherhood is an often thankless job – both inside and outside the home.

We know how hard we work – not just in the tasks, but the emotional and mental labor. But in an unconscious attempt to be seen and appreciated, we often take on more.

Doing more doesn’t mean you have more value. It just perpetuates the cycle of striving to earn validation and exhausting ourselves in the process.

Mama, you have so much value simply because you exist. You were created by a Creator with a purpose and attention to detail. You don’t earn more value by doing – you are valuable because of who you are and who created you.

When we work on shifting our mindset, we get the privilege and honor to see and appreciate ourselves. We get to support and cheer ourselves on because we decide what we focus on.

There’s nothing you can do to add more value to who you are. Embrace what a gift you are, just as you are.

Mindset Shift 4:

It’s good for me to rest.

Self-care isn’t selfish.

It can be hard to believe if you’ve internalized other messages, like other’s needs are more important than yours, or you are the only one who can do these things that need to be done.

While this may be true some of the time, it’s certainly not true all of the time.

When we look to the scriptures, we see that God rested and set an example for us. Because of who He is, He doesn’t need rest. But because He created us, He knows we do.

Rest is also an act of surrender and trust, acknowledging His plan over our to-dos.

True self-care is taking time to recharge your batteries – whatever that looks like for you. We have to plug up to our power source to be able to continue on.

Everything and everyone works better once they’ve powered off for a bit.

You were made, by design, to rest.

Mindset Shift 5:

I am a human having a human experience.

Perfection isn’t the goal in life and motherhood – simply becoming more at ease with all your humanness is.

When we let go of this idea that the pinnacle of success is perfection, and instead peacefully acknowledge all the ways we are human, we get to be so much more present with ourselves and our children.

As emotions come up throughout the day, as they will do, we get to have so much love and compassion for ourselves just like we do others.

There is no such thing as a bad feeling. They’re just little messengers, a notification to check. We can allow them, be present with them, and listen to what they have to say.

If you experience feelings you’ve told yourself for so long that moms “shouldn’t” feel, the temptation is to stuff them down and hide them, pasting on a happy face to power through.

I just want you to know that no matter what you’re feeling, nothing is wrong with you, and you’re not alone.

You’re a beautiful human, experiencing a full range of human emotions, and learning to allow and listen to them.

Putting These Mindset Shifts Into Practice

If you’re thinking, “Sure, all this SOUNDS great – but it will never work in reality,” I get it! Seriously, I’ve been there. But I’ve watched over and over again as I’ve been able to create what I desired, starting with my mindset, and had the joy of watching my clients experience it too. The secret sauce is intention and repetition.

Your brain has kept you alive with these old thoughts that aren’t serving you for a long time. It will continually go back to those, because it’s trying to conserve energy and keep you alive, and doing the same old thing will satisfy those desires. You have to be intentional about gently correcting it back to where you want to go as you create new patterns.

1. Start each day by looking at what’s there

Spend a few minutes each day uncovering what’s going on in your brain. Left unsupervised, our brain can take us all kinds of places we don’t want to go – so we get to take control of our thoughts. Set a timer for 3-5 minutes and write down everything happening. Process those feelings attached, and with intention, choose your new thought to practice.

2. Keep your new thought close by

Set a reminder on your phone for your new mindset shift to pop up every couple of hours. Write it on a post-it and leave it somewhere you look at often. Set yourself up for success by intentionally reminding yourself of this new thought you’re practicing.

3. Give yourself grace

Knowing that you’re going to default back to your old mindset habits, hold space for this and don’t beat yourself up when it happens. New patterns take time to stick, and we can celebrate the tiny nuggets of progress along the way instead of demanding perfection.